New Years Tips
The first one is to connect your goals to your values. Nietzsche said, “he who has a why to live can bear any how.” emphasizing the importance of knowing what drives you. Research consistently shows that when we have a greater purpose for having that goal. Health and fitness goals are prevalent, so that I will use that example. What will be a more durable mindset: “I want to look better in a bathing suit” or “I want to improve my longevity so that I have more time with my family and a higher quality of life”? For most people, it will be the latter. This concept is something that I use with all my clients to increase retention and outcomes. Processing trauma is hard work, so you need to identify good reasons to do it.
The next aspect is to avoid shame. We are always better off motivating ourselves with our strengths and aspirations than our previous failures. If we don’t like ourselves, why would we improve ourselves? Failures are data about what we can do differently, not defining characteristics. Abandon the mindset of value judgments about ourselves and focus on workability. Will my belief that I am a failure motivate me to continue moving forward? Hell no. It’s going to paralyze me and make me give up. Self-compassion is pragmatism.
The third is consistency. It is always better to do a small amount daily than massive amounts in spurts. As you become consistent, you can continue to build on your progress, which will help you stay motivated as you see yourself making these improvements. I am working to incorporate mindfulness into my life with daily meditation this year. I start with 3 minutes every day for a month before increasing it. Once it is just part of my routine, I can increase and optimize it to make it fit into my life in a way that makes the most sense. Starting a new habit is like building muscle; it takes a long time and many repetitions, but if you stick with it, you will get significant returns.
I hope you had a great New Year and make 2025 the year of healing!